It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
