All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
