found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
