ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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