I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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