so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
