I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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