he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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