I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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