69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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