So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
