okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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