hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
