I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
