is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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