Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
These tits shall not be calmed
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