We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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