I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
