im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
