i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
