p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
