Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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