you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We got so high we made milksteak
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
