My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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