You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
