You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
