Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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