So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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