I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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