I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
