dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Barsexuality is the new black.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize