Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
nutella sex= disaster
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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