Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
