fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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