You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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