loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
