He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
