I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
