It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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