Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
