Don't you send me to vm
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
