Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize