I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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