everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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