I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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