Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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