My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
