My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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