the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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