i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize