singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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