so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
