a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
