its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
