we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
