I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
