Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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