She's JV to your varsity
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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