I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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