Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
