so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
