Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
