Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
