i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
