The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
