Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
