a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
