Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
